Your honeymoon is a holiday to look back on all your life. It is your chance, after all the hectic wedding preparations, to spend some time alone together: a time to enjoy one another and experience something together as a married couple. This holiday should be special, something to cherish in years to come and dream about on boring days at work.
Once you've got engaged
Chateau Lake Louise, CanadaThe first thing to do once you get engaged is to decide who is going to book the honey-moon. Although most couples choose to plan this important holiday together, there are those who still believe in the tradition that it's a man's job, especially in Europe. As one husband-to-be recently said to me: 'Melissa is sorting out everything else, I just want to have something that I can say is totally and utterly mine. She hasn't got a clue where we're going, but as soon as I saw it (in a brochure) I knew it was just perfect for the two of us and I am having such a great time planning it all in secret.' If you do decide to go it alone, note the Surprise Honeymoon section below.
Whatever you decide it's essential to get straight on with bookings as the best rooms, the best views and the best deals are the first to go. Look through the Contents List at the start of the book ticking off countries that appeal. Even if one of you loves the sound of Costa Rica or Morocco and the other hates it, tick it: you might be surprised at the kind of honeymoon you could have there. The golden rule of honeymoons is to go somewhere that neither of you has been to before as there's nothing more tedious than being given a blow-by-blow account of a holiday one of you enjoyed, or even didn't enjoy, with someone else.
Each chapter of the book is structured so that you can quickly tell whether or not the country is right for you, starting with the best time to visit. The Practical Information box tells you, amongst other things, approximately how long it takes to fly to that destination.
Flights are a big consideration when booking your honeymoon as you are going to be pretty exhausted after the wedding and may not necessarily feel like hours cooped up on an aeroplane. Don't think that romantic necessarily has to mean distant, it doesn't. Having said that, if you've absolutely set your heart on a country and a hotel that is thousands of miles away why not take the plunge? After all this is probably going to be the biggest holiday of your life and there is also a wonderful little trick called sleeping pills which can help the hours pass effortlessly (see Jet lag below).
What kind of honeymoon do you want?
Presumably you know each other well enough for it not to be a problem working out what your dream holiday comprises. But there are a few things to bear in mind: however much you long to flop on a white sandy beach and do absolutely nothing, it's a good idea to check that there are things to do when you decide it's time to venture off the lounger. The aim of this book is to inform you exactly what there is to do at or near each hotel: but check with the hotel or travel agent exactly what sports facilities are available at the time of year you are visiting and whether or not they will cost extra.
Take care to build plenty of time for rest and relaxation into your itinerary if you are planning an active honeymoon with touring, sightseeing and adventure activities. You will be amazed at how tired you are after the wedding, and even more so if you've got jet lag from a long flight. Consider having three days lying on the beach or in a mountain hideaway before you hit the trail; that way you'll both get much more out of the holiday. You don't have to dash around and see every single highlight of your chosen destination, even if you have decided on a really alternative place for your holiday. Tour operators, particularly the specialist ones, tend to push people into doing too much. You don't want to be exhausted, you're here to enjoy it: besides, you can always go back for more another year if you loved it that much and felt there was more to see.
Surprise honeymoons
Surprise honeymoons are great. They are romantic, dreamy and exciting - as long as you both feel that way. So do check that your other half is genuinely happy to go ahead with the plan before you take the ball into your own court. And check again a week or two before the wedding, and once more a day or two before the big day, that they are still happy to hang in there until the departure lounge. Bear in mind that half of the romance of your booking the honeymoon is that you've taken the trouble to think about what your partner would like, so there's nothing wrong in telling them a few days before you leave. This option often leads to a great deal of relief on both parts. Many people also find it difficult to get excited about a holiday they cannot visualise.
That aside, the key is to think about your partner and decide honestly what you think they would want. Don't book a trekking holiday in northern Thailand if all your fiancée wants to do is lie on the beach. Perhaps best is to plan a two-centre honeymoon with something for you both: for example, a few days on the beach at either end and a few days in the middle for trekking, white-water rafting, canoeing, diving, looking around ancient temples or going on a safari. A good way to get an idea of where your partner would like to go, while still allowing you to keep it a surprise, is to get them to tick the countries they are interested in, on the Contents List. That way there's still plenty of scope but you know they'll approve of the basic destination.
Coping with tiredness
Most couples are extremely tired after their wedding. I can remember waking up the morning after and physically struggling to lift my head off the pillow, and I'm a morning person. It really does hit you: the emotion, the supreme effort that you've both put into the big day, and the excitement. All you'll want to do is flop, so bear this in mind when making your departure plans: try not to travel the very day of your wedding and consider whether you can both cope with a long-haul flight.
Costs
One thing you must get straight, right from the start, is how much you think you should allocate for the honeymoon. There's nothing romantic in talking about money and budgets, least of all for your honeymoon but there's also not a great deal of romance in starting married life broke. You simply won't enjoy a honeymoon if you end up scouring the cocktail menu trying to find something you can afford each time you're thirsty, or getting to some wildly exotic country and feeling you actually can't afford to go on the dug-out tour up the river to see the orang-utans' sanctuary. So talk about it and decide together what makes sense - which could of course involve the dreaded marital notion of compromise!
Make sure you think about all the expenses you are likely to incur, including extras like airport tax, service charges, tips, and shopping sprees. On your honeymoon, try not to go mad and spend way over your budget: I've talked to couples who are six months into their marriage and still paying crippling credit card bills - hardly the way to start married life.
However, it is worth noting that the room rates quoted in this book are rack rates only. These are the rates you would be charged if you walked into the hotel and asked for a room for one night only, and as such will very rarely apply to your honeymoon. A good travel agent or tour operator should be able to get a sizeable discount on this rate. For example, leading UK tour operators can expect to obtain discounts of 40-50% off the rack rate, depending on the time of the year and the length of your stay.
Order your foreign exchange and travellers' cheques at least a week before you leave and try to have some small change for taxis, tips on arrival etc. In many countries it's a good idea to have some US dollars in cash, as well as cash in the local currency. If you are not on a package tour it would be worth checking how you should pay your hotel bill: some hotels do not accept credit cards and they may even refuse to accept the local currency, or charge an extra premium for doing so. Throughout this book, prices are given as much as possible in both US$ and the local currency: where only a US$ rate is shown this is the principal currency used by tourists in that country.
GETTING MARRIED ABROAD
Every year, more and more couples decide to get married abroad. They are motivated by several considerations, the first and last of which is romance. It is also usually a great deal less expensive than having a big wedding at home, and lots of couples prefer to take their vows alone, or with a few close friends. As a result the number of places where you can be married abroad has also grown. Hotels all over the world are now geared up for weddings and can provide as many or as few extra trappings as you want. Whether you choose a secluded cove in Jamaica, a jungle lodge in Costa Rica, a hot-air balloon floating above the African plains of the Serengeti or a French ch‰teau, there are certain legal requirements that you must fulfil in order to make your marriage a binding one. These vary considerably from country to country, so check exactly what you need when booking, and to avoid any confusion check everything with the embassy in your country before you depart.
Most countries request the following:
* your birth certificates
* valid 10-year passports and valid visas
* an affidavit confirming your marital status
* your previous spouse's death certificate if you are widowed
* a decree absolute if you are divorced
* a minimum residency requirement (anything from one to seven days)
* that you are both over 18 years old, or in some countries over 21 years old (in Bali men must be over 23 and women over 21)
* some countries require that you adhere to certain religious requirements
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